An imagined visit with past and future selves
Sometimes I wish that I could send myself, the Marisa I am now, back in time a few years to talk to the me I was back then. I would give myself a little reassurance that things would be okay. I would be careful not to tell myself too much about the future, I wouldn’t want to alter the path, just put aside some of the pain.
I’d also like for a future version of myself to stop by and visit me now. I’d make some iced green tea and we’d talk about the crazy things that have been happening in my life recently. She’d listen lovingly even though she knew all the stories and their outcomes. She’d rub my back when the last traces of upset got the best of me and I started to cry. She’d occasionally get a sly smile on her face, enjoying watching me try to put some of the pieces together but know that puzzle wasn’t complete yet.
The future Marisa would assure me that everything has really worked out, even though it didn’t go exactly the way we thought it would. After hours, an entire pitcher of tea, tears and hysterical laughter, she would look up and realize that it was time for her to get back. She wouldn’t tell me what she was returning to, but I’d be able to tell by the look on her face that it was a good thing. We’d hug good-bye and she’d whisper in my ear, “It will be better than you can even imagine” before fading away.
I’d sigh, missing her the way I miss my mom each time I get on the airplane to return to Philly, and then I turn and clean up the dishes.
August 14th, 2007 07:09
Wow, that’s a wonderful sentiment. I always laugh when people think they can plan…I’m a big believer in just going with life’s buffeting winds. I smiled when I thought you could see the future Marisa and knew from her face that it was all good. Beautifully written. I’m going to spend some time today thinking about that.
August 14th, 2007 11:30
Thanks Frank, I’m glad you liked it! It was an idea that sort of sprouted Sunday afternoon while I was talking to a friend and continued to grow.
August 14th, 2007 23:32
you know, while here is awesome, there is nothing holding you here. and portland is like a mini philadelphia
August 15th, 2007 10:13
Very moving. Really touched my heart.
How have you been?
B
August 15th, 2007 10:19
Hi! I wish for the same thing sometimes.
Can you get ahold of me at my work email, please? ufldre at sunflower dot com
I need to talk to you about some campus ministry work as the YACM office is not coming through for me.
Thank you!
Sherry
August 15th, 2007 13:07
Aw. How lovely.
Though if you met yourself, I think space and time would collapse in on itself.
Not because of the laws of physics or anything.
Just because there would be far too much awesome in one area for the universe to handle.