Goin' back to school

It is Monday, August 28th, 2006.  I’ve been anticipating today all summer and now that’s it’s here, I’m not entirely sure what to do with it.  When I got my new calendar back in June, it was this date that I flipped to first, before family birthdays and upcoming social commitments, in order to carefully pencil in, “MA program at St. Joe’s starts.”  Back then, I hadn’t heard for sure that I was in the program, but I wrote it down anyway, just in case.  Just over a month ago, when I found out that I had been accepted, I opened up the calendar (which was already showing every day of that month’s worth of age) and went over my original penciled words with black ink.

I start classes tonight.  I have a fresh, clean notebook in my bag, and I’ve spent more minutes that is respectable picking out which pens to bring with me.  I met a few classmates yesterday afternoon at a meet and greet for the department, but my memory has already mangled their faces and names.

Right now I’m feeling a bit blank, but I’ve rolled through nervous and near-catatonically freaked today.  I’m expecting to hit excited soon, possibly while in the car on the way over there and I’m looking forward hopefully to feeling of clicking and an internal ‘yes’ either during or after class.  Occasionally I’ve been able to push all those noisy, chaotic emotions to the side in order to find the one that started all this, the one that told me I had to change or go crazy.  And it is feeling very proud.

0 thoughts on “Goin' back to school

  1. Suzanne

    Hurray for you! I remember my first day in an MFA program for creative writing (Emerson College, Boston). I sat there thinking, “I did it! I’m HERE.” I had the time of my life and made some good friends along the way. Also, my best friend (who I met in the program) just was blogging about advice for new students — quakeshakenmama.blogspot.com. (I added my 2 cents in the comment area.) I really enjoy your writing. You’ll do well!

  2. Wendy

    My first day of my MFA program at Tyler was the scariest day since maybe kindergarten for me. I uprooted my entire life at 29, leaving a great job great friends and a place I loved living because I had that feeling too—if I didn’t make this change and follow my (how cliche) “dream” I’d go crazy in the life I was living. Now a year after finishing and having survived what I call the best and worst 2 years of my life I would do it all over again without any hesitation. Enjoy your new journey! (I think this maybe the first time I’ve posted here. I really enjoy reading your blog and the pleasure you find in all aspects of your life.)

  3. Marisa

    Hey you guys! Thanks for all the lovely words of luck and success, I appreciate every one of them.

    Suzanne, thanks for the reference to advice for new students over at quakeshakenmama, I went and read it and got a kick out of it. Apparently, the only thing I’m doing wrong is that I’ve given up my day job.

    Wendy, thanks for leaving a comment, and for saying that you’d do it all over again. That’s just the sort of thing I need to hear these days.


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