A Romantic I'm Not

Lately I’ve been inspired to stick my toe back into the world of internet dating. As with many of my generation, I am not a novice when it comes to meeting people online. I found the first guy I ever really loved via match.com, so I have a certain fondness for the medium. As I read through profiles, and look at pictures, I’m not entirely certain that what I’m looking for is out there. Everyone seems to be looking for romance and magic, and while that all seems nice, it’s just not my thing.

Give me a man who will look up at me and grin, with love in his eyes when I let out a really resonant burp. Who will happily eat the leftovers. Who will take me seriously when I say that goldfish creep the shit out of me. Who will let me read the comics first on Sunday morning. Who will help me take care of my parents as they age, knowing full well that I will put as much effort and energy into his.

When my mom was growing up, her father bought toilet paper and light bulbs in bulk each month and had them delivered to the house. He did this because he knew it was awkward for my grandmother to bring them home with the weekly food shopping. I find this to be the deeply sweet. These days my idea of a romantic gesture would be for the guy I’m with to chase down our dog (who currently exists only in my imagination) on January 2nd with a tissue, and remove the tinsel enrobed nugget of shit that is hanging out of her ass. This is why we don’t use tinsel.

0 thoughts on “A Romantic I'm Not

  1. Luna

    See same thing here. I’m looking for something realistic and I guess they’re all looking for a mix of Mother Theresa and Angelina Jolie.

    Why is it so hard to find a guy who will easily laugh with me, (I like that about them eating the leftovers) and who won’t make constant fun of where I come from. Someone who won’t constantly point out that he’s better than anyone and who will be patient.

    Perhaps someone who won’t refuse my hugs and who will open the doors for me (that’s the limit of my romantic stuff, I love the lightbulb story. very nice!!)

    Perhaps realistic men just don’t exist any more? perhaps they’re just hiding, observing and waiting to come out at the right moment? I hope it’s the second 🙂

  2. aasmodeus

    … or perhaps they look different when you first meet them, and you may be turned off by what you see at first.


    I know there were a bunch of girls in college who would probably have gone out with me (and had a great time) if I’d dared talk to them like a friend — but they were strangers and I was uncomfortable, so I’m sure I presented a horrible scene which helped steer them away.

    I was actually thought gay by an entire group of girls simply because I’d never asked any of them out. Pffft.

    Good luck Marisa, I’m sure you’ll find someone deserving and worthy if you put your mind and heart in it (and really believe you are ready to try dating again). I say that with deep belief because in this upcoming age range you’ll find a larger probability of guys who have matured past a certain barrier: the “romance and magic” era of their life has been appropriately coloured by rich hues of temperance, patience, and experience.

  3. ajayi

    The women I meet online I thought were all great. I was of the mindset to meet and go out with however many dates it took to find someone that I could connect with and go from there. It didn’t work out with most of them, but I never had the expectation that it would. Reports of romantic gestures dying might be premature. But it might be on ‘life support,’ given their apparent rarity.

    People expectations are so high these days that it almost seems impossible to go on a date and laugh. ‘This is a date after all, we should be taking this serious and quickly ascertain whether we are compatible or not.’ Unfortunately, men should not be waiting for the right moment because that will never come. They should take the moment they (we) have now and be sure to laugh about it.

  4. Dodi

    I’m ten years older than you so I don’t know as many people who’ve used internet dating, but the ones who have are finding what they look for. As long as you’re willing to kiss a lot of frogs along the way I think it’s a good way to meet people. I have several married friends who met their spouse through internet dating.

    I’m not at a point where I want to date right now, but I think I might still be more comfortable meeting someone through regular channels (i.e. set ups from friends, common interests).

    Please post about your experiences.

  5. Marc

    Hmm…, internet dating. I’ve never fully tried it. I’ve met people through people who do internet dating (huh?). I guess it’s hard to get the feeling of some one when it’s all pixels and electrons. But it also sounds like you’ve just met some guys that aren’t a good match. I’m sure there’s someone out there for you. You sound fun, intellegent and seem to have a good sense of humor. Heck, I’m single. Why aren’t I asking you out?? (I think I just did!) Best of luck!


  6. Karla

    Goldfish creep me out too. Little buggers just look shifty, like they’re plotting to overthrow the government.

    Plus, they swim around in their own shit.

  7. aasmodeus

    Just discussing online dating with a friend tonight. She mentioned not liking what she’s experienced so far with match.com and e-harmony, and her sister-in-law mentioned to her the professionals dating service, It’s Just Lunch. They’re advertised a lot in the city paper and philly weekly.

    … perhaps?

  8. Melissa

    I’m all for internet dating. A relatively recent 4 1/2 year relationship came from the internet, as did a recent dating experience. Here’s the only problem, as a friend of mine used to say, “all men (over a certain age) have baggage, you just have to decide whether you can handle a steamer trunk or a carry on bag”. I think she’s right. All the single guys I meet have issues.

    Good Luck and if you go out with the guy who just propositioned you in a previous comment, let us know how it works out.

  9. albert

    not only have i gone out with people via the internets, i used to work for an online dating firm, spring street networks. they did the personals for sites like nerve.com, theonion.com, boston.com to name a few. i was actually the account manager for philly mag and city paper awhiles back.

    i met a nice girl about 3 years ago via ssn. i moved to philly with her and now we live together.

    i had two not so hot experiences via dating online, but what the hell did i care, i was using the system for free!


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