Tuesday night I got home from work around 5:30. I was meeting a friend in the Square at 6:30 for dinner and I was excited about the prospect of having almost an hour in which to do nothing. I kicked off my shoes, glanced at my email and grabbed a snack. No sooner had I gotten comfortable on the couch, the tv tuned to the Food Network, I heard a voice in my head. It wasn’t the normal voice of my thoughts, the one that chatters on endlessly about what I did or said or didn’t do. It was a clear, strong thought-voice, coming from a different place.
It said, “go outside.”
I tried to ignore if for a while. I was comfortable! I was happy on the couch, eating my cereal bowl of tortilla chips. I didn’t want to go anywhere just yet. Besides, I was going to go outside in a little while, couldn’t I just have a little down time inside first?
I heard it again, “go outside.”
At this point I knew I had to leave my apartment and go over to the square early. I spend a bit of every day asking the universe to tell me clearly, in a manner I can understand, what I should do with my life. It would seem the summit of stupidity to ignore it when it finally started talking, even if all it was saying was, “go outside.”
I put my shoes on, grabbed a jacket and headed out. I was actually a little excited, because there I was, heading outside, knowing that there was a purpose behind the walk. I covered the two blocks slowly, paying extra attention to the people around me. As I walked into the Square, I walked right into my friend Trisha. After the initial hellos, and her surprise at running into me, we fell into a conversation that several layers deeper than the ones you typically have when running into friends on the street. She told me that she had recently quit her job, because it wasn’t working for her anymore. That she’d been accepted to grad school, but didn’t get any of the much-needed fellowships to make it possible. I told her of my feelings of stuckness and frustration.
We took at extra circle around the square, wanting a few more minutes to talk before heading our separate ways. When we finally parted, I felt alive. I felt filled with light and possibilities. I felt amazed that I had been able to listen to a little dribble of guidance while sitting on my couch and had such a terrific conversation because of it. I stood in the sun, waiting for the friend I was meeting for dinner, and thought, “this is how I want to my life to be.” And I think I heard the thought-voice say, “it can be.”