Yesterday was my last day of full time work. For the rest of the month, I’ll be working part time, and by October I will be unemployed. It’s hard concept to get used to.
My mom attempted to give me a long distance mini-lecture yesterday about how important it will be for me not to indulge my sleeping-in habit now that my days are more open and most of my commitments are in the evening. I was forced to remind her, once again, that I am adult.
The thing is, when I got up this morning, I didn’t feel so much like an adult. I lay in bed, listening to the last ten minutes of morning edition, before crawling out of bed and into a mostly unstructured day. It feels more like summer vacation than the start of school, and I know that I’m going to have to shake off that sensation sooner rather than later, or I’m going to sink fast.
I’m realizing that unconsciously, I had always equated having a job with being an adult, and now that I don’t have one, feeling like the other is challenging. I’m not entirely sure where this belief came from, because my parents haven’t been 9-5ers in the traditional sense in years.
As I wrote those last couple of paragraphs, I realized that all I’m trying to say that is that with the end of my job and beginning of school, the markers with which I build my identity are shifting dramatically, almost to the point where I’m not sure I recognize myself entirely. It’s fascinating and a little unnerving, but it’s a trip I’m exciting to be taking.