Trip through an unknown land

Yesterday was my last day of full time work.  For the rest of the month, I’ll be working part time, and by October I will be unemployed.  It’s hard concept to get used to.

My mom attempted to give me a long distance mini-lecture yesterday about how important it will be for me not to indulge my sleeping-in habit now that my days are more open and most of my commitments are in the evening.  I was forced to remind her, once again, that I am adult.

The thing is, when I got up this morning, I didn’t feel so much like an adult.  I lay in bed, listening to the last ten minutes of morning edition, before crawling out of bed and into a mostly unstructured day.  It feels more like summer vacation than the start of school, and I know that I’m going to have to shake off that sensation sooner rather than later, or I’m going to sink fast.

I’m realizing that unconsciously, I had always equated having a job with being an adult, and now that I don’t have one, feeling like the other is challenging.  I’m not entirely sure where this belief came from, because my parents haven’t been 9-5ers in the traditional sense in years.

As I wrote those last couple of paragraphs, I realized that all I’m trying to say that is that with the end of my job and beginning of school, the markers with which I build my identity are shifting dramatically, almost to the point where I’m not sure I recognize myself entirely.  It’s fascinating and a little unnerving, but it’s a trip I’m exciting to be taking.

0 thoughts on “Trip through an unknown land

  1. erin

    This is awesome, Marisa! You are on the road to discovering you without all the “rules” we pick up along the way. I predict great things for this year!

    Reply

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