Jumbles

I can’t seem to keep a rosemary plant alive in my apartment, although for some reason the little bay tree I got about a year ago is doing fine.

My sister got pulled over by the cops someplace in Oklahoma a couple of days ago, because she was driving 55 miles an hour to conserve gas. They accused her of erratic driving and demanded to be allowed to search her car or they were going to bring in drug sniffing dogs. They made Raina sit in the back of the police car while they took apart the interior of her van apart. She was so terrified that she couldn’t stop shaking and started to sing Amazing Grace in an attempt to comfort herself. One of the guys she was traveling with was carrying. Luckily for Raina, he took full responsibility for it but was arrested on the spot.

My friend Ingrid drove from Wichita Falls to Austin, TX today in order to spend the weekend with a friend and attend Raina’s show at Flipnotics. I would give many things to be there with them tonight.

I’m feeling a little low today. I have done battle with my body image and weight for most of my life, but really thought I had come to a good, peaceful place about it. Except that I got on a scale today and the number on the display ripped the oxygen right out of my lungs and has left me struggling with issues of worth and beauty. I had no idea that that one particular number still claimed so much power over me.

I apologize for being so cheerless, but right at the moment this is all I’ve got.

0 thoughts on “Jumbles

  1. Lolie

    Having seen you on ‘fork you,’ I’ve noticed that your figure is fairly similar to mine. I know that this is weird, but sometimes when I’ve felt badly about my weight, I have thought that you seem beautiful and well adjusted and smart and happy, etc., so what am I worrying about?
    So? What are you worried about? You’re great. Fug the scale.

    Reply
  2. Marisa

    Thank you for saying all that, I really needed to hear it.

    It’s amazing to me that I can feel normal and good and then get on the scale and tip over into the abyss. That programming goes deep.

    (Oh, and it doesn’t seem weird at all, I have often done the same thing with other people).

    Reply

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