Toast and ducking neighbors

I used my lunch hour today to run a few errands. In my last 15 minutes, I flew into my apartment to grab some lunch (I hate buying food when I know I have the makings for a wonderful salad in the fridge, all ready to be combined). Standing in front of the elevator, munching a piece of toast, the salad neatly packed into a plastic container, I saw my neighbor Lucille at the far of the hall. Just at that moment, the elevator came and I hopped on, frantically pushing the ‘door close’ button.

The reason I hurriedly ducked my neighbor? That damned piece of toast. You see, it’s Passover, the Jewish holiday during which leavened products are forbidden. While I’ve never been much of a Jew (although officially, by birth I am completely Jewish), Lucille practices and believes that I should too. She’s the one who lambasted me two summers ago when my mezuzah went missing. And I just knew that if she caught me eating toast (delicious, artisanal sourdough), I would be in for a lecture. So I didn’t hold the elevator for her.

5 thoughts on “Toast and ducking neighbors

  1. Ellen

    How can you be sure she didn’t spot the errant piece of toast in your hand from all the way down the hall?!

  2. LM

    You learned to cover your tracks well, grasshopper. I am proud. I might have slipped the toast into my pocket or my purse and held the elevator, but probably not. Who needs to be judged at lunch time?

  3. raina rose

    that is freakin hilarious!
    Although, who gives a crap what anyone thinks of you?! especially when it’s to judge you for your religious prowess… We are UU as much as we are Jews and we have the right to eat toast whenever we please.
    happy passover my sister, i love you!


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