A tenuous grasp on confidence

I left work today feeling really cruddy. Something I had been responsible for at work did not go well. It isn’t exactly my fault, more a product of my ignorance about how certain processes work, I’m feeling crappy about it. I left my desk today feeling like I was a royal screw up, like there was nothing in the world that I could do right, and that it might just be the end of the world.

I’m still feeling a little tender when I think about it, but I’ve spent the evening trying to remind myself that I should never let something so little make me feel like such a complete failure. Is my self-esteem and confidence so fragile as to be threatened or shaken by a wayward box of branded lanyards? I don’t like to think that it is, but for some reason today, it almost was just that tenuous.

My boss was disappointed in how things worked out, and I’m prepared to be on the receiving end of a little more of her disappointment, but I’m trying to pull myself together and prepare to let it roll off of me when it comes my way tomorrow, as opposed to taking more of it in. At least I’m going to do my best at it.

0 thoughts on “A tenuous grasp on confidence

  1. seadragon

    Just imagine yourself a couple years in the future… will you still have this weird feeling, or will you likely have forgotten all about it? I find that it often helps to put things in perspective over time because otherwise it can feel like everything in the moment hinges on them. You’re smart to keep a level head about this. Sounds like you know what you messed up, but you won’t let yourself get too beat up about it (either by yourself or from your boss). Things like this happen, but you’ll get past it and so will your boss.

  2. Karin

    Commiserations. Been there, done that, often. But Mercury is coming out of retrogade beginning December 5th.

  3. Shelli

    Hi Marisa. I think we’ve all been in the same exact position you are in right now. Not that that helps you…or maybe it does? Just know that everything seems better with a new day… and as hard as it sounds we need those yuck-days to make ourselves stronger. To learn.

    We are human afterall, we make mistakes.

    And thats totally OK.

    ~shells 🙂

  4. aasmodeus

    Yeah… we need bad times, and then the experience of recovering successfully, to prepare ourselves better for future mistakes and disappointments. I don’t know if it’ll help you, but it does me: imagine what you could have done to improve the situation, and instaed of feeling bad that that didn’t happen, feel confident and secure in the knowledge that you now have the foresight to prevent the same mistake again! For me, that’s one sure-fire way to gain confidence: by _making_ mistakes, and being open to learning from them. I do it every day… every… day… hrm, including 40 minutes ago.


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